The Spirit of Diotrephes: What are the Marks?

- June 17, 2024

Last week we began to examine a man who had infiltrated a local church and usurped the authority of the church. His name was Diotrephes.

“I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to put himself first among them, did not accept us. Because of this, if I come, I will bring up what kinds of works he does: ranting against us with malicious words. Not content with that, he does not accept the brothers, and stops those who want to, and throws them out of the church.” 3 John 9-10

Diotrephes was good at church politics! He had managed to rid the church of those who didn’t agree with him. I’m sure he vilified them and made them the “trouble-makers.” He also kept the church from having any influence from the apostle John. Those who disagreed with Diotrephes were probably labeled as “Johnites.” Diotrephes was a man that desired power and control. There appears to have been plenty of gullible people in the church that followed him.

This can happen quickly in a local church. Unfortunately there are people that love to make political type power grabs in the local church. And once a Diotrephes gets his tentacles sunk into the church, it is almost impossible to pry them loose. And even if you can, it is usually not without great collateral damage. As pastors we have to be so careful about this. Only through prayerful wisdom should we ever put people in leadership positions.

Often as pastors we put people into leadership for the wrong reasons. Here are some wrong reasons that pastors put people in leadership positions:

It will help me (the pastor) in my immediate needs.
It will make the person faithful.
It will appease them and cause them to be content.
It will cause them to like me and support me (the pastor).

These are terrible reasons to put a person in an influential position. Why is this (each one corresponds with the wrong reasons above)?

It is not about the pastor’s immediate needs. It can’t be about us! The church is bigger than one person! Jesus must increase; we must decrease.
We don’t promote people to make them faithful. We promote people because they are faithful. This is the Biblical principle.
A position will not appease a person long-term and cause them to be content. In fact, when you give a Diotrephes power, it makes them even more power hungry.
Pastors, we must always remember that it is not about our position or popularity. It is all about Jesus! Being a leader means making the right decision regardless of whether it is popular or how it makes us look.

So how do we identify those with the spirit of Diotrephes? What are the marks of a Diotrephes? This text gives us great insight.

First mark of the spirit of Diotrephes

Their decisions reveal insecurity.

Why would Diotrephes have been averse towards the apostle John and others who were simply trying to proclaim the truth and Jesus? Why would he silence John’s input? Why would he censer John’s communication with the church? Why would he want to eliminate John’s voice?

From the text, it appears that it was due to jealousy and insecurity. He was fearful that if the church had exposure to John or other preachers, he might not have the preeminence any more. Maybe he wanted to plagiarize some of John’s teaching, but he wanted the people to think that it originated with him. Maybe he was afraid the people would like John’s teaching better than his.

Unfortunately this issue of insecurity can run very deep among church leaders. Those with the spirit of Diotrephes make decisions out of insecurity and what will be most advantageous to them, not what will benefit others the most. When insecurity is in the driver’s seat, bad twists and turns are going to happen. If wisdom says to go right, insecurity will cause us to turn left every time. This is how churches end up losing their direction, and wandering in the wilderness of just trying to survive.

Second mark of the spirit of Diotrephes

They have an “island” mindset.

Control is key for those with the spirit of Diotrephes.The idea of this text is that Diotrephes had an “island” mindset. He withdrew himself and his church from other groups of believers and people like the apostle John. I am sure that Diotrephes gave flowery reasons why he did this, but at the root of it was insecurity and pride. This is all too common.

“If we help another local church, my people may end up going to that church or giving to that church.”
“If we cooperate and join together with other youth groups, our teens may see that the other youth groups are bigger and may go there.”
“If we help to plant another church, some of my people may leave and go to the new church.”

Insecurity causes us to have an island mindset. “If I can just keep people on our island, they won’t go anywhere else and they won’t have anything else to compare us to.” When leaders have the spirit of Diotrephes, they constantly feel threatened. This leads to bad decisions and dysfunction within the local church.

Third mark of the spirit of Diotrephes

They eliminate the “competition.”

Churches and believers in Jesus are not in competition, but unfortunately those with the spirit of Diotrephes forget this. The person with the spirit of Diotrephes is always concerned first and foremost with himself, his position, his church, and his authority. He has worked hard and manipulated things to get what he has, and therefore he wants to make sure that he keeps a firm grip on what he has obtained. So he must eliminate “competition” and do everything to make himself look good in the eyes of others.

When a pastor has the spirit of Diotrephes, he surrounds himself with weak leaders. He will only allow a strong person around him if he feels that person can help him or if he owes them favors. But two Diotrephes cannot exist together for the long haul. It is impossible. One must, of necessity, eliminate the other one. When this happens, there is a ripping and tearing of the church that has led to the demise of many churches that were once great lights for Jesus.

If you are a pastor or leader and you feel that you are struggling with having some of these Diotrephes-like symptoms, get good counsel and help right away! Self-awareness is the key to recovery. Be honest:

Do you often feel threatened by others?
Do you make bad decisions out of insecurity but then try to justify them?
Do you struggle with feelings of insecurity and inferiority and you depend too much on the praise of others?
Do you feel a constant need to control and micro-manage others?
Do you shift blame for bad decisions or bad outcomes on others?
Do you constantly try to put a positive spin on everything so you will look good?
Do you ever meet with your board and tell them the “bad news” and the struggles that you or the church are having? (If not, how can they pray and help?)
Do you feel the need to “look” successful?
Do you keep private struggles hidden within yourself?

Remember – it is okay to struggle! We all do! More pastors today are seeing the need of having their own counselor or therapist. This is such a healthy trend. At Converge Midwest/Southeast we spend thousands of dollars each year paying for professional counseling and therapy for our Converge pastors. We believe healthy churches are led by healthy pastors.

One more word to pastors – ask God constantly to give you discernment to be able to identify those in your church with the spirit of Diotrephes. Do not give in to them and do not allow them to obtain leadership and influence among the flock. It will bring division and destruction to the church. You must stand up for your flock and protect them!